Figgins: I'm sorry, but since a student had let firecrackers stuffed down his pants 3 years ago, we've had a zero-tolerance physical-violence policy.
Santanna: Is that why you've suspended all the kids who've been tossing slushies in our faces for the last 2 years?
Figgins: Slushies are not on the school board's approved list of suspend-worthy weapons.
Rachel: Buying votes is illegal!
Figgins: But it's also delicious!
Sue: Why would someone assume I'm a friend of Ellen just because I'm mannish and highly aggressive and have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girl's sport and I married myself? It just doesn't make sense!
Artie: Where's Rachel? She never misses applause.